


cut to the feeling

by bootyshortskeef



Series: made for each other [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Dorks in Love, First Time Blow Jobs, Getting Together, Inexperienced Victor Nikiforov, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Pining, Size Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 16:50:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13955874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bootyshortskeef/pseuds/bootyshortskeef
Summary: Yurio has gone back to Russia, and now Yuuri is avoiding Victor. He's really sad about it, but they work some things out after a nice day at the beach.





	cut to the feeling

Victor is frustrated. Yesterday, he’d been elated and fiercely proud of Yuuri’s performance at Onsen on Ice. He’d never really intended on going back to Russia with Yuri; after all, his original promise had been fulfilled, and he knew there was something amazing within Yuuri that needed nurturing. But as far as he was concerned, Yuuri had won anyway.  

But it wasn’t just Yuuri’s skill that had Victor so enchanted that he’d picked up his life and moved to Japan. He is hopelessly in love. But now that it’s been confirmed that Victor will stay in Hasetsu, Yuuri is completely avoiding him. It’s not like he’d been receptive to Victor’s advances before, but now he’s all but disappeared. He tries to talk to him, but he just hides in his room. He suggests bathing together, and he runs away and showers privately instead. But even worse, Victor thinks, is that Yuuri didn’t even show up for practice this morning. Is Yuuri already doubting his ability as a coach? Or is there something else bothering him? Victor has no idea, because he won’t even talk to him now.

After his third time walking past the ramen stand that afternoon, the owner insisted he try his new recipe. “It’s really very good, Ito-san,” he smiles. “I’m just not very hungry.” The broth is delicious, and the noodles are cooked perfectly. But the sinking feeling in his gut makes it hard to swallow down. Ito just gives him a knowing smile and tells him to take care of himself.

* * *

 

Eventually, he finds himself at Minako’s bar.

Victor sways on his barstool. “Minako-Sensei, why doesn’t Yuuri like me?” She laughs at him. “Why are you laughing at me? It isn’t very nice,” he pouts.

She sighs. “Baka. Yuuri loves you. He has for longer than you’ve even been here. You’re one of the reasons he fought so hard to get as far as he did.”

Victor’s eyes widen. “Really? But then why is he avoiding me?”

She rolls her eyes and pours Victor a glass of water. “He’s scared.” Victor frowns at the water, but Minako pokes him in the forehead—a sore spot for Victor’s ego—and says, “Drink it.”

He does, but he’d really prefer some more sake right now. “Why is he scared? I’m not scary, am I?”

“Scary?” she snorts. “Intimidating, maybe—for Yuuri, anyway.”

Victor sighs. “What should I do? I just want Yuuri to like me.”

“You should talk to him,” she says.

Victor throws his hands up in frustration, nearly knocking over his glass. “But I’ve tried! He won’t let me. He just runs away or hides in his room.”

She shrugs. “Yuuri might just need time. Sometimes his anxiety gets the better of him. But don’t give up on him.”

Victor couldn’t even if he tried—and he _had_ tried, back in Russia. For weeks, he’d waited for Yuuri to call him, and he had almost accepted that nothing would happen between them. And then he saw that video. He sighs heavily. “I won’t.”

On his way back to the inn, he stops and stares at the Ice Castle. There’s a light on. Yuuri must be skating. Yuuri may have skipped practice this morning, but he knows that he can’t stay away. Victor is the same. He wanders into the rink as quietly as possible so that he can try to catch a glimpse of him.

He tiptoes his way to the ice and then crouches behind the boards so he can watch in secret. Most of the lights are off, so it’s unlikely that Yuuri will see him. He watches as Yuuri glides around on the ice when he suddenly launches into a triple axel and then moves into a twizzle. It steals Victor’s breath away. Victor is entranced as he follows it up with a step sequence from one of his older programs. There’s something different about how he skates when he’s alone, Victor realizes. He’s uninhibited when it’s just him and the ice, and every movement feels completely natural and honest. He wonders if he’ll ever be able to show Victor this side of himself. He wants to keep watching, but he suddenly feels like he’s intruding on something intensely private. Instead, he quietly leaves the way he came in and stumbles back into the cool night air.

He takes his time walking back, letting the crisp breeze sober him a bit. He’s hoping that if he lingers, Yuuri will eventually catch up to him on his way home. But it’s only wishful thinking. If Yuuri saw him, he’d probably just go another route or stay behind.

When he falls into bed, all he can think about is Yuuri—Yuuri’s face, the way he moves on the ice, his strong and taut body—his massive cock. Victor loves every part of Yuuri, but he’s never been able to forget the way his hard on felt against his thigh that night. He just knows Yuuri would fill him up the way he’s always craved. Yuuri is perfect for him in every way; it’s like they were made for each other.

Victor reaches back and starts to work a finger into himself as he pumps his cock. He so badly wants Yuuri, wants him to kiss him, to stuff him full of his cock, to fuck his mouth, to make him cry and beg for it. He also wants Yuuri to skate with him, to smile at him, to eat _katsudon_ with him, to let Victor give him his heart and his body. He wants Yuuri to have everything he deserves and more.

Victor comes, but it leaves him feeling hollow and empty.

* * *

 

The next day, Yuuri doesn’t show up at the rink again, so Victor returns to the inn and suggests going to the beach. Minako had said not to give up on Yuuri, so he won’t. Even so, he’s relieved when Yuuri agrees to go. At the beach, Victor asks if he wants him to be his lover, and he protests loudly. It nearly breaks him, but then Yuuri explains he just wants him to be _Victor._

No one has ever asked him for something so seemingly simple before. It has the effect of both throwing Victor even further into love and terrifying him. It scares him, because after all the years of playing a part and wearing a perfected smile for everyone, he’s not sure who he is under all of that. Will Yuuri even like the real Victor Nikiforov? Will _Victor_ like him?

In any case, he agrees that he will just be himself for Yuuri, and that it means he won’t go easy on him. That part, at least, is completely honest. He knows Yuuri is tough, and he’ll be able to take the truth from Victor, whether it’s good or bad. He wants to make Yuuri a better skater, wants to give him the confidence and skills to do everything he knows he’s capable of. That part, he can do. He’s just not sure about the rest of it. But maybe they can figure it out together.

They spend the rest of the day swimming and splashing around in the water, and by the end of it, Victor is pleasantly tired and warm. Maybe a bit too warm, he realizes as he sits on his bed.

“You’re sunburnt, Victor.” Yuuri gently touches his tender and pink nose with a dollop of aloe lotion.

Victor groans. “Now I’m going to lose my hair _and_ get wrinkles. And freckles,” he adds with a sigh.

Yuuri smiles gently as he rubs the lotion into Victor’s cheeks with his thumbs. “You’re not losing your hair.” He cups Victor’s face and moves in close so their noses are almost touching. “Besides, I like your freckles.”

Victor wonders if Yuuri can tell that he’s blushing under his already pink skin.

“Stay here,” he tells him, like Victor has somewhere else to be other than with Yuuri. It’s been too long since they’ve spent any quality time alone together, and he wants it to last. Yuuri returns to Victor’s room with a cool washcloth. He touches Victor’s bare chest lightly with his fingers, and it feels electric. “Lie down,” he tells him. Victor isn’t about to argue with that.

Yuuri lays the washcloth across his forehead. It feels nice. “You should rest here a while.”

“I’m not sick, Yuuri. I’ll be fine.” Victor isn’t even burnt anywhere else, because he had used sunscreen. He’d just thought that his usual moisturizer would be good enough for his face—apparently, 30 SPF is not sufficient for him, he realizes bitterly. He really should know better by now.

“I know,” he says before climbing into the bed and lying next to him.

Victor’s heart pounds as he wonders what Yuuri’s next move will be. He can be so unpredictable sometimes. Victor loves that part of him, but some days it leaves him reeling. Yuuri seduced him and asked him to be his coach—then he disappeared for months. Then, a video of him skating Victor’s program appeared. Even though it hadn’t been Yuuri’s intention to release it, the way he’d skated had felt like he was calling to him. But when Victor arrived, he panicked and ran away. Just when it finally seemed like he was warming up to Victor, he started ignoring him altogether.

And now, he’s in Victor’s bed.

Yuuri lies on his side and then gently removes the cloth so he can dab at Victor’s pink cheeks and nose. Victor turns to him. Yuuri is staring at him intensely as he runs the cloth gently over his face. “You asked me if I wanted you to be my lover,” he says. “Why?”

Victor smiles wryly. “I was getting desperate.” Yuuri narrows his eyes, like he’s trying to figure out a puzzle—as if Victor is the enigmatic one. “You must have noticed, Yuuri.”

Yuuri’s hand stops, but he doesn’t say anything, so Victor keeps talking. “I don’t want to push you. If you don’t want that, then I’ll understand. It’s just—it’s just that sometimes, it feels like you do.”

Something in Yuuri’s face changes, like something has clicked in place. He slowly drags the cloth down Victor’s face and down his neck, and Victor shudders. “And you do?”

Victor lets out a shaky breath. “Yes. Very much so.”

“Oh,” he says, as if that clears everything up.

Victor feels like he’s being driven mad. His mind is teetering between two extreme outcomes: “ _Yes, Victor, please let me ravish you now and then let’s get married and get six dogs_ ” _,_ and “ _No, I don’t want you Victor, please leave and never come back_ ” _._ He’s so frustrated he feels like he could scream, but he sits silently, and his heart clenches painfully while he waits for Yuuri to decide his next move.

Yuuri tosses the cloth to the floor and gently blows across Victor’s nose. It’s not what he’d been hoping for, but it feels nice. “Yuuri—” he starts, but Yuuri hushes him.

His fingers trail gently over Victor’s face and along his jaw, making him shiver. “You’re beautiful, you know.”

Victor isn’t unaware of his looks. He knows he’s attractive, and plenty of others have told him as much. But hearing it from Yuuri feels different. There’s more weight behind the words both because they’re from Yuuri and because part of him knows he doesn’t just mean his appearance. Victor swallows hard.

“Some days, I can’t believe you’re real,” he whispers.

But that’s exactly how Victor feels about Yuuri. Like he imagined the banquet and the press of Yuuri’s lips on his own, like he couldn’t possibly exist because he’s too handsome, too talented, too kind. He moves Yuuri’s hand down to his chest, so he can feel his heart pounding. “I’m real, Yuuri. This is real. This is what you do to me.”

Yuuri leans closer to him so that his nose is pressed right up against his cheek. “Victor,” he whispers before finally kissing him, after months of waiting.

He’s relieved, he’s elated, he’s incredibly turned on. He can’t help it—Yuuri is gorgeous, and he’s doing that thing with his tongue that he did when he kissed him at the banquet, and he’s _touching_ him. Victor wraps his arms around him and pulls him closer.

He kisses back hungrily, like he’s just as desperate for Victor as he is for Yuuri. He slots his leg between Victor’s and hooks the other over his hip, and Victor can _feel_ that he’s desperate. He moans into Yuuri’s mouth at the feeling of his hard cock against him. It’s just as big as he remembered. He’s seen it in the onsen and in the changeroom at the rink, but only in glimpses. Victor has made a concerted effort not to stare at it. But now that Yuuri is kissing him and touching him, he needs to see it up close.

Victor pulls away for breath, and Yuuri starts kissing a hot trail down Victor’s neck. “Yuuri,” he gasps. Suddenly he’s being rolled onto his back, and Victor cries out when Yuuri grinds their cocks together. “Yuuri, please,” he sputters.

He props himself up with one arm and brushes Victor’s hair from his eyes. “Do you want me to touch you, Victor?”

He moans. “God, yes. How are you so sexy?” Yuuri just smirks as he palms at Victor’s erection. How strange, he thinks, how Yuuri’s switch can suddenly flip like this. He tries to regain his focus. “But—Yuuri, can I touch you first? Please, I’ve wanted to for so long.”

Yuuri’s mouth drops open. “Fuck. Yeah, you can touch me. Wow.”

Victor rolls them over again so he’s straddling Yuuri and then grips the bottom of his t-shirt. “Off,” he says impatiently, and Yuuri just chuckles and lifts his arms so that Victor can take it off. He stares at Yuuri’s body in open admiration. “Wow. How did I get so lucky?” he asks.

“You’re asking me that?”                                                                                                         

“Yes,” he says before latching onto one of Yuuri’s nipples. Yuuri gasps and moans beneath him as he alternates between sucking and biting at his nipples. He kisses his way down his ribs, and Yuuri arches his back at the sensation. He finds himself at the waistband of Yuuri’s shorts and eagerly pulls them down and over his cock. “Wow.” Yuuri is, as Victor suspected, huge. He’s excited, and yet it’s somewhat daunting. He’s certain he won’t fit it all in his mouth, but he can’t wait to try anyway.

“Victor, are you alright?” he asks.

“Oh, yes,” he assures him. “It’s just—well, you’re really big.”

Yuuri blushes. “Oh. Well, you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” he says.

Victor beams at him. “Yuuri! Believe me, I want to do this. God, I keep thinking about it. Do you know how many times I’ve jerked off to the thought of you ruining me with this?” he asks as he takes Yuuri into his hand.

“V-Victor,” he stammers. He bites his lip and groans. “I’ve thought about it too. These walls are thin, you know. And you’re not exactly quiet—I could hear you,” he sighs. “I didn’t know you were thinking about me, though. I hoped, but…” he trails off as Victor pumps him slowly.

“Always, Yuuri. I’m always thinking of you.” He gazes at Yuuri’s length and watches as precum dribbles over the tip. He wants to taste it. “Yuuri, can I taste you? Please,” he begs.

“Please,” Yuuri repeats.

Yuuri tastes not all that different from himself, but it’s better, because it’s Yuuri. He’s not exactly sure what to do, but he has an idea of what _he’d_ like and decides to work from there. He licks at the head with his tongue, and Yuuri inhales sharply. “Mm. Yuuri, you taste amazing,” he says before taking his cock into his mouth. He’s wide enough that it makes his jaw ache a little, but it’s not so much that Victor isn’t enthusiastically enjoying sucking Yuuri off. He tries to take him in further, but it’s too much.

Yuuri tugs on his hair. “Victor,” he pants. “You don’t have to take so much.”

He pulls off and licks his lips greedily. “I want to, though. I want it all inside of me,” he says. “It feels so good in my mouth.” Victor tries to relax and take him as far as he can before he’s hitting the back of his throat. It’s still not enough.

“Fuck, oh my god, Victor. Do you—you can’t—your _mouth_ ,” he gasps. Moans and obscenities spill from his lips as Victor sucks him. “Victor, I’m going to come,” he warns.

Victor just keeps sucking eagerly, moaning when he feels Yuuri’s hot come flooding his mouth. He keeps going until Yuuri pulls him off. Victor looks up at him through bleary eyes and swallows. “Wow,” he says. “That was amazing, Yuuri.”

Yuuri huffs. “Yeah, it really was,” he says and then pulls him up so he can kiss him.

“Are you sure?” he asks. “I’m open to criticism,” he says seriously, although he hopes Yuuri really did enjoy it. He _seemed_ to.

Yuuri just kisses his temple and laughs. “Come on, Victor. You’re amazing. I can’t believe you said that, though,” he groans and covers his face with his arm.

He pulls Yuuri’s arm away. “What? About your cock being inside of me? It’s true, Yuuri. I’ve thought about it for so long.”

Yuuri’s eyes darken, and he says with a low voice, “Not as long as I have,” before pinning Victor down and sucking a mark into his neck. He’s rough, and yet each touch is reverent—firm, yet slow and exploratory, like he’s memorizing Victor’s body. He loves it. Yuuri pulls sharply at his hair as he bites down hard on his shoulder, and Victor lets out a shuddering gasp. He kisses the spot gently and relaxes the hand in Victor’s hair. “Sorry—I got carried away.”

“ _Yuuri._ I like it.” He wants to be marked up by Yuuri, so he can be reminded of this every time he looks in the mirror—so everyone will know he’s Yuuri’s. “Make me yours,” he begs.

Yuuri buries his face in Victor’s neck and groans. “Victor, you’ll kill me with that mouth of yours.”

Victor gets what he asked for, though. Yuuri’s got his hips pinned to the bed with his strong thighs and locks his hands above his head. All Victor can do is lie there and gasp or moan every time his teeth sink into or scrape the sensitive skin of his neck. “Yuuri, Yuuri, you’re so beautiful, so perfect.”

Yuuri releases his hands and reaches down to stroke his straining erection through his shorts. “Can I take these off?”

“ _Please._ ” Now that they’re free, Victor’s hands are roaming over Yuuri’s back, nails digging into his spine as Yuuri slides his shorts off.

“God, Victor,” he murmurs against his belly. “You’re so fucking sexy. I’m already hard again.”

It turns out that neither jerking off or getting a handjob comes close to getting a blowjob. Victor has the distinct impression that it wouldn’t be as good with anyone else anyway. He’s not as big as Yuuri by any means, but he’s not small either—yet he swallows him down so easily. And he seems to know all the best ways to tease moans out of Victor. Even with his own lack of experience, he can tell he’s very skilled with his mouth. He wonders how experienced Yuuri really is—a thought that both thrills him and fills him with jealousy. It’s not like he should be surprised, though. Yuuri is amazing, and he’s certain he’s had plenty of suitors chasing after him.

It’s not long before Yuuri has him coming. He’s pulling at Yuuri’s hair and shaking as he spills into his mouth. Yuuri swallows and licks his lips like he’s just tasted something decadent and delicious.

“Fuck, Yuuri,” he pants. Yuuri kisses him, and he can taste himself on his lips. The realization drives him wild. He presses his forehead against Yuuri’s and tries to catch his breath. “That was so good, Yuuri. I’ve been missing out all these years. Wow. It was worth waiting for, though.”

Yuuri just laughs. “You’ve only known me a few months, Victor.”

He frowns. “It still felt like an eternity. You’re kind of amazing, Yuuri. If you could see yourself the way everyone else does, you’d understand.” Besides, that isn’t what Victor meant anyway.

Yuuri rolls off Victor and onto his side. He wraps his arm around him and pulls him close, even though it’s too hot. He’s tracing what feels like compulsory figures onto his chest when Victor remembers he’s still hard.

“Yuuri! Do you want me to take care of you again?” he asks, perhaps a bit too eagerly. “I can—or, if you want, you could fuck me.”

“What? No! I mean, I want to, but we just—I mean I don’t want to rush things,” he sputters. “You don’t have to do anything, either. It’s fine, Victor. I just want to lie here with you. It’s nice.”

Victor kisses Yuuri’s hair. “It is nice.” He is a bit disappointed, but Yuuri’s right. They don’t need to do everything right now. He’s waited a long time for this, but he can wait a while longer. “Yuuri,” he starts, “will you skate with me tomorrow?”

“Mm. Yeah.”

“Good. I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me too.”

Victor hesitates to say anything else, but he feels a stab of guilt about spying on him yesterday. “Yuuri. I’m sorry.”

He nuzzles Victor’s chin. “What are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything.”

“But I did. I went to Minako’s bar last night and had too much to drink,” he says.

“That’s okay. You wouldn’t be the first person to do that,” he chuckles.

Taking it as a reference to himself and his banquet antics, he laughs too. But the alcohol isn’t what he’s apologizing for. “I know. It’s just that I sort of spied on you.”

Yuuri raises an eyebrow. “You’re not the only one who’s been staring a bit too long in the onsen, you know.”

“ _Yuuri!_ That’s not what I meant—naughty, though,” he says and kisses him. He sighs. “I missed seeing you skate. I saw that you were at the Ice Castle on my way from the bar, and—I’m sorry Yuuri. I snuck in and watched you. You were so beautiful.”

Yuuri is unsettlingly quiet, and it makes Victor’s heart wrench.

“Yu—"

“You really missed seeing me skate?” he blushes.

“Of course I did!” Victor still can’t believe how surprised Yuuri is at his mere presence in his life. As if he wasn’t the only skater who could truly give Victor a run for his money. As if Yuuri wasn’t the best thing to ever happen to him.

Yuuri gives him a goofy, lopsided smile. “Victor, I’m not mad.”

“You’re not?”

He shakes his head. “No, Victor. I’m sorry for avoiding you.”

“I know, Yuuri. It’s just—your skating, it felt so—”

“Mediocre?”

Victor grabs his chin firmly and glares at him. “Honest.”

“Honest?”

“Mediocre… really, Yuuri? You think I would take a break while I’m at the top of my career so I could coach a mediocre skater?”

“No,” he says softly. “Not really. It’s just so hard to believe sometimes.”

Victor relaxes his grip. “Yuuri, will you skate like that for me tomorrow?”

Yuuri looks away from Victor’s gaze. “I don’t really know what I did.”

“You were so open. Every movement was so full of meaning.” Victor kisses his temple and sighs. “It’s hard to explain.”

“I think I know what you mean. When it’s just me, it’s easier. I don’t have to worry about being vulnerable or even messing up.”

“But it’s not when it’s just you—Yuuri, I’ve seen you skate that way before.”

“You mean Stammi Vicino,” he says, and Victor nods. “But that was with Yuuko. We’ve been friends for so long. I trust her.”

Victor feels the implication of that statement deep in his gut, and he can see the regret written on Yuuri’s face immediately.

“That’s not—that’s not what I meant,” he stammers.

“It is. But it’s okay.” It hurts, but he understands. He knows it’s hard for Yuuri to open up, and they haven’t known each other for that long. The relationship that’s blossoming between them—as coach and student, friends, and now lovers—will take time and patience—he knows that. Victor considers his own trust in Yuuri. He would give him his heart in an instant, but the fear that Yuuri could shatter it so easily is still there.

Yuuri places both hands on Victor’s warm cheeks and squeezes his eyes shut. “I want to, though. I can try. It’s just—it’s a lot.”

“Yuuri, look at me.” He smiles at him when he opens his eyes. “It’s alright. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. This is new to me, so it’s a lot for me too. But we’ll get there. I’ll wait for you until the end of time if that’s what it takes.”

“Victor! I promise, you won’t have to wait that long for me to open up to you. I care about you too much for that. I’ll try my best tomorrow, and the day after that, and every day.” Yuuri’s voice is filled with such conviction it makes Victor’s heart surge.

“Yuuri!” He wraps his arms around Yuuri and squeezes tightly. “Wow. I can’t wait until tomorrow.” His heart pounds with excitement. “And every day.”

“Me too.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> People were asking for more after I wrote "big enough". I didn't want to have them fucking right away, so here's some blowjobs I guess. There will be a third part. Currently, the document just says "let victor get that yuuri dick".


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